Mikhail Prokhorov - I list Mr. Prokhorov out of respect for his business acumen that has led to him being a billionaire. I am also a child of the 80's and still afraid of any Soviet that may have ties to the KGB. (Please don't kill me!)
10. Dan Gilbert - Although he seems like a jerk and writes emails in Comic-Sans, Gilbert makes this list on his build alone. A muscular chest and arms will get me every time. Now, about that whole Lebron thing...
9. Dennis Lindsey - Mr. Lindsey looks less like a NBA General Manager and more like the president of a bank in the South. Major points to him for the looks but negative points because he lives in Utah. Sorry Dennis but I would never be able to survive there. Let me know when you move.
8. Tim Donaghy - Sure, he might have spent some time in jail for fixing games and may be hooked up with the Mafia but, damn it, he is still a good looking man. Out of jail since 2009, he has made the move back to being a good guy and writes regularly for Deadspin on officiating. I am sure that spending time in jail as a good looking white man taught him a few things as well!
7. John Stockton - The Hall of Famer, all time assists leader and secretly dirtiest player in the NBA during his time makes this list despite my general disdain for him and the 90's Jazz. How DARE you think you are going to take the MJ led Bulls down? Stockton gets major points for sticking with the short shorts look and therefore showcasing his amazing legs. Rumor is that his third leg is as thick as his two walking legs.
6. Mike D'Antoni - The former Knicks coach is now "in charge" of the shit show that has become the Los Angeles Lakers. (We all know Kobe is the one in charge.) His West Virginian background and salt and pepper hair made even I root for the Knicks every now and then when he was in NY. What can I say? I am a sucker for a nice mustache!
5. John Paxson - My attraction for Mr. Paxson began as a kid when he was winning titles with the Bulls in the 1990's. Now the Vice President of Basketball Operations for the Bulls, John has aged like a fine wine. Now, he just needs to do two things to jump higher: get Derrick Rose back on the court and make Joakim Noah to disappear.
4. Rick Welts - This list would not be complete without mentioning the first openly gay male to be the President of an American major sports team. Mr. Welts inspired all of us sports loving homosexuals when he came out in May of 2011. Unfortunately, he is in a relationship and not available. Well done though Mr. Welts!
3. Scott Brooks - Coach of the most exciting basketball team to watch in the NBA, Mr. Brooks strolls the sidelines of OKC while Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook do their thing. With so much talent on the Thunder, Scott can spend more time focusing on other important things: satisfying me in the bedroom!
2. Danny Ainge - The second player on this list I despised when I was younger, Mr. Ainge always comes across as a cry baby; a kid who would take the ball and go home when he wasn't getting his way. With that said, he is one gorgeous man. Despite my hatred of the Celtics, Danny makes me want to put on green and cheer for Paul Pierce to not get stabbed again. Mr. Ainge would have been on the top of the list had it not been for the man I discovered below.
1. Neil Olshey - Going into this list, I had never heard of this man. Now? I can't believe he was never on my radar. Mr. Olshey tops this list even though I have never once heard him speak or see him on television. That is how good looking this man is! The current General Manager of the Portland Trail Blazers, Neil inspires me to visit the Beaver State more often. He is the only person who has EVER made me type the words "inspires me to visit the Beaver". Congratulations Mr. Olshey! You are quite the looker.
Watching over his players like a good "daddy" should!
That smirk is fucking irresistible!
"I'm not saying my dick is large but it does have its own area code."